By Narayani Singh
Reading time- 1 minute
Competition is striving to win or gain something by establishing superiority over others. Now this
may sound negative in the context of friendships but it is always not the case. Competition in
friendships exists in every stage of life be it childhood, teenage or adulthood. While, it does
have a negative connotation to it but competition in friendships is of two types – healthy
competition and unhealthy competition.
Unhealthy competition is the one to watch out for. Unhealthy competition in friendships happens
when we focus on the other person rather than ourselves. It includes factors like being jealous,
judgemental, comparison and putting each other down. These behaviors can lead to feelings of
insecurity, jealousy, and resentment, ultimately deteriorating the trust and authenticity within the
relationship. These factors can develop due to external factors like constant comparison from
family members, teachers in school and other peers and groups or internal factors like our own
insecurities and complexes. Pulling others down, mocking and being jealous can be a result of
one’s own insecurity or low self concept. If a friend seems low-key delighted whenever one has
shared any bad news, doesn’t congratulate or celebrate their wins or downplays the
accomplishments then this can be an indicator that the friend sees you as a competitor, in an
unhealthy way. Moreover, such friends tend to remind you of your downfalls and negative
aspects when they see you succeeding hence, pulling you down. The same things in healthy
competitive friendships, that is, your achievements and accomplishments would be seen as an
opportunity to push oneself further to become as better as their friend. Healthy competition in
friendship doesn’t operate from a place of threat or anxiety.
Healthy competition is an essential component of friendship that motivates us to grow and
become better versions of ourselves. Healthy competition in friendships is important in all
stages of life but the importance of this healthy competition is more prominent in school and
college friendships where we learn extensively from our social interactions. The support and
motivation we get from the people around us is also quite impactful. An example of healthy
competition in friendships would involve motivating each other to reach personal goals or
milestones, while celebrating each other’s successes without any feelings of envy or rivalry. The
criticism received in such interactions is equally important as the support received. This kind of
friendly competition can encourage mutual growth and self-improvement, fostering a supportive
and uplifting dynamic within the friendship. A good example of healthy competition is the friendly
rivalry between tennis legends Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Novak Djokovic. Despite their
intense on-court battles, they maintain mutual respect, often praising each other’s skills and
accomplishments.
Therefore it is important to be mindful and take a step back to observe the behaviour of people
around you if things are not feeling right. It is also important to keep yourself in check if you find
yourself feeling the negative competitive feelings. One thing important to remember in such a
case is that someone will always be better than the other. It is easy to become jealous when you
feel you are on the losing end but then take a step back, evaluate and ask yourself if you want
to carry this kind of negativity into your relationships? Competition in friendships can sometimes
create unnecessary tension and strain, potentially affecting the trust and support that are
essential for a healthy bond. It’s crucial to prioritize mutual growth and encouragement rather than fostering a competitive environment, as genuine friendships thrive on support, understanding and mutual collaboration.
