I never thought I would write on death. I have been currently counselling a few people who are in some or other way going through the painful phase of loosing someone to death. We call this phase as grief cycle in our psychology. According to the grief cycle given by Kubler Ross, we move from denial of the loss to anger to bargaining to depression and in the due course we accept it with peace. What I have noticed is that we struggle the most in the bargain stage of this process. In the bargaining stage, we have thoughts like “I should have done x and I would have not lost the person”, or ” only if I had done y, the person would have survived”. This kind of thinking leads us to self blame and we proceed to next stage of depression. I have been through it myself and undoubtedly, it is the most difficult phase.
I have lately realised that we have always seen death through a wrong perspective. We generally associate dying as painful, sad and worst possible thing that can happen to anyone. But people !!! No!!! Death is a relief. Death is end of worldly suffering and bodily pain. Remember ?Mortality has always been a form of punishment. Adam and Eve were punished to be mortal. Even in Hindu mythology, immortal gods are cursed to be born as mortal beings. And death is the only way out of their curse. The great epic of Maharashtra begins where Goddess Ganga chokes all her babies to death right after their birth just to rescue them from life full of suffering. Only the last one; Bhishma, survives to endure a life of sacrifice and injustice.
We all want our loved ones to stay with us forever. But that is nothing but a selfish desire. We want them for us. Look at it in a selfless way, once they are gone, let our loved ones move ahead on their path of evolution. Set them free from your bondage. Death is just the next level of life, a new journey that does not require body to survive. The moment we are born, we surrender to life to give us whatever destined. Death is an emancipation from slavery of life. Relief from the circle of pain and pleasure. She is freedom disguised.
