What to do while feeling lonely?

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By Narayani Singh, Delhi

Does it often happen that when you’re sitting in your room all by yourself, you suddenly or maybe even slowly drift into feelings of loneliness? Despite having friends and people in your life you start feeling that maybe people aren’t available for you or that nobody understands you or nobody genuinely cares about you? Turns out that it is pretty common to experience such feelings and ironically you are not alone experiencing these feelings of loneliness. I remember one of my professors discussing in our psychology class that the human mind has a tendency to dwell on such negative thoughts when they’re all alone by themselves. It is post midnight when my professor’s words make more sense to me.

Feeling lonely at times is pretty common however if you feel that such feelings have been chronic and persistent then it should not be overlooked as these might be symptoms of depression, self esteem issues, interpersonal relationships and other such deeper issues. Acknowledging the fact that you are feeling lonely is the first step before actively doing anything to deal with it. 

 Having said that here are a few activities one can try doing whenever surrounded with feelings of loneliness-

1. Reach out to a friend – Often times while experiencing such feelings, we tend to underestimate the quality of our bonds and feel less connected with people than we actually are. Maybe your friend will actually be happy to receive that call from you which you might be thinking may be a disturbance to them. Or maybe you can drop them a text casually checking up on them. Connecting with your friends can help alleviate feelings of loneliness.
2. Join a group/club – Joining a group/club/community of likeminded people having common interests can be very fulfilling. For example,  joining an online community of your favorite book or TV show or getting involved in the fandom of your favorite music artist. Even joining clubs that organize heritage walks, food walks etc. can also be an enriching experience. I can understand that for some people it is not easy to connect with new people and can also be an anxiety provoking situation but sometimes getting out of our comfort zone and putting efforts in the processes we don’t particularly enjoy can give fruitful rewards! So pushing yourself and trying new things is also important!
3. Read a book or start that TV series that has been in your pending watch list since forever.
4. Pick up a hobby/ learn something new – When you feel you are starting to drown in the negative feelings, something you can do is get up and start working on an activity or a skill you have always wanted to try your hand at. Rather than ruminating about having no one available at the moment, just push yourself, get up and get started with that k-pop choreography you always wanted to learn or record a cover of your favorite Atif Aslam song or draw, learn makeup, write up something, make crafts, catch up with the knowledge of crypto……..the possibilities are endless! This can act as a really good distraction as well as leave you feeling productive! Using expressive arts as a tool can prove to be a good outlet for such spiraling thoughts.
5. Journal- Writing down your feelings can help you acknowledge process and understand your feelings even better. Journaling can help you figure out if it’s a fleeting feeling due to temporary circumstances or if there is a deep rooted reason for such feelings. It can also be a great way of catharsis especially for those who find it difficult to talk about such feelings to others.
6. Join an NGO or participate in volunteering activities – Contributing towards the betterment of society and helping people can help make you feel better. Engaging in such activities also increases human interaction and make you feel more connected to the community. Try volunteering at local charities, animal shelters, food and clothes distribution drives, teaching etc.
7. Keep a tab on your social media usage – We feel lonely and lacking more often after scrolling excessively through social media, watching people’s lives with a rose tinted filter. Keeping a tab on your social media usage and being mindful about your engagement is an important step towards well being.